Wednesday, 25 February 2009
A woman was looking in a full length mirror when her husband asked what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she sighed.
On the morning of her birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
* The Death Slide
* The Wall of Fear
* The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you tw*t"
The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong. And even IF a woman is wrong, she’ll never admit it!!!
When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, 'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter.'
Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said, 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! 'You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! 'Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.'
God turned to the one man, 'How did you manage to be the only one in this line?'
The man replied, 'My wife told me to stand here.